I’ve read many articles that talk about the stages of grief. One chart I found lists seven stages:
- Shock
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Testing
- Acceptance
Until recently, I believed that grief did follow these stages. However, through my own periods of mourning, I’ve come to understand that no two people grieve the same. Grief is unique and personal for each individual.
In 2020, I lost my niece at the age of 49 without any warning. I’m not going to mourn like my sister. I can’t begin to grasp the agony of losing a child. Though I can relate to losing a sibling, my nephew—who’s coming to terms with the loss of his sister—will not follow the same pattern of grief as I did. I lost my dad when he was 78 years old, but I can’t begin to understand the pain of my great-nieces in the loss of their mother at such a young age. It’s unimaginable.
If we were robots, perhaps our grief process would be the same. But that is not the case. God created each one of us as unique individuals, and as such, our grieving process will be exclusive to each of us.
I found this quote on the webpage https://www.grieffellowship.org/personal-grief/helping-yourself-to-grieve/ …
“No two people grieve alike. Everyone is different and everyone grieves differently. Don’t expect your grief journey to follow the same path as someone else.”
That writer took the words right out of my head.
I believe one of the saddest verses in scripture is found in Genesis 37. Jacob learned that his favorite son, Joseph, was probably killed by a ferocious animal. In verse 35, Moses penned these words about Jacob …
All his sons and daughters came to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. “No,” he said, “I will continue to mourn until I join my son in the grave.” So his father wept for him. (Genesis 37:35)
Though we all will grieve in our own ways and on our own time frame, I pray that none of us will refuse the comfort of family, friends, and God as we journey through this terrible course. While we walk through this valley of the shadow of death, I hope and pray that we will all cling to the hope found in Paul’s words.
Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.
For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.
According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep.
For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first.
After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. (1 Thessalonians 4:13-17)
The fact that we will see my niece again will likely not ease our pain right now, but it is a hope that we all share. On that day, we will have an eternity where there is no death, no mourning, no crying, and no pain. Jesus Himself with wipe every tear from our eyes, and we will live with Him and our loved ones forever.
‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:4)
That is our hope! Regardless of where we may find ourselves on this road of grief, we are not making the journey alone. Family members, friends, and others are walking with us. More importantly, God Himself will never leave our side. We are not alone.
